Gkathy: Finding Me-The Process Continues

To Lilic

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 08:00:00 GMT

Thank you for your comment. Recovery, and a different way of living is possible for all of us.

The only way I was able to change my life was to ask for help. Afterall, my way of thinking was doing nothing but helping me to continue living the life of despair that was slowly killing me.

You don't have to live the way you are living and you don't have to get out of it by yourself. We are here for you. I had to go to meetings and listen to those people that were living the type of life I wanted to live, alcohol and drug free, and then do as they suggested.

They had crawled out of the same hole I was in so I needed to do what they had done to get out!

I hope to see you in the chat room. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you start to live your life differently.

Recovery Happens

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 05:00:00 GMT

September 5, 2007

Gratitude on a Sunday

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 08:00:00 GMT

I am grateful for:

A relationship with a Power greater than me.

Hope

Patience with the process

Pain ( a necessary evil lol )

Friends that share their "stuff" to help me get through my "stuff." It amazes me the bonds we get here online with people we have never laid eyes on!

My daughter's love

Healing

A job I love

Family that drives me nuts

Those 12 Steps that saved my life and continue to give me a life beyond anything I ever imagined.

Feeling, rather than hiding feelings in a bottle of Cuervo

Sponsorship (both sides of it!)

Today I am most grateful for a good nites sleep and a clear head this morning!

It's time to move forward and stop wallowing and take action. It's okay to feel, but I don't have to wallow. Soooooooooo today I will prepare my daughter for her first day of 5th grade tomorrow!!

Oh, one more thing for the list! Thank GOD that I don't feel the need to react to her snottiness right now because she was told NO to wanting to go to SunSplash. lol

Thanks to all of ya for your help this weekend. I appreciate you, immensley~

Gifts of Sobriety

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 08:00:00 GMT

This stuff works!

Voice Mail

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Leave me a message!

For Tex..

Sun, 06 May 2007 04:46:00 GMT

thanks lady!

Peeling of the Onion

Thu, 03 May 2007 16:43:00 GMT

Every once in a while at work a situation with a client comes along that brings out emotions in regards to things in my life. This week has been a doozy.

Ya never know who you are talking to

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 19:06:00 GMT

Yesterday I was doing some shopping at the local drug store for my grandmother. I go there a lot so they are used to seeing me there late at night or on the weekends.

The gentleman asked me what I was doing there in the middle of the day and I told him I was on vacation. He then asks me what I do-where I work.I tell him I work with people with addiction problems.

His next comment threw me for a loop. He comments on the fact that he thinks addiction is a "brain issue" and goes on to tell me that people need to just stop, but they would rather take the easy way out. He talked more about it being a moral issue of them being just bad people.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My mind went into defense mode, but luckily I got my wits about me before I opened my mouth. I had to remember that I am an advocate for treatment in my professional life, and that I am also a member of a 12 Step Program that is based on attraction rather than promotion. My mind told me to calm down and remember that this man may in fact have a problem or know someone that does.

I could answer the front door at work to him dropping off his daughter one day. If I had reacted there at the store, than I might lose a chance to help him help her help herself. I could also be sitting at a meeting one day and he could walk through that door and sit in the chair next to me and any preconceived notions he had about me could affect him staying for the meeting that will change his life around.

So instead of telling him he was an ass, hehe, I told him that actually it was a lot more complicated than that and that addiction is a disease and that next time he saw me and wasn't to busy, to grab me and we could talk about it.

This ability to pause before reacting is something that is becoming second nature for me, rather than a HUGE painful effort. For that, I am grateful.

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:00:00 GMT

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor need a couch need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie

{Chorus}
You find out who you're friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who you're friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

{Chorus}

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there

{Chorus}

I love this song by Tracy Lawrence and find the lyrics to be so true!

I'm a toddler

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 05:00:00 GMT

I celebrated 3 years of recovery yesterday. Me, a hopeless, bloated, suicidal drunk that has not taken a drink or a drug in 3 years. What a miracle.

I really had no idea when I got sober what was in store for me. I thought I was simply going to learn how to not drink. Well, not drinking was the easy part. I really believe my obsession was removed that morning 3 years ago when I got on my knees and finally asked God to help me be willing to do what was needed to save my life.

It has taken a lot of work to keep the obsession from returning. It doesn't just go away and stay away because I want it to! I don't think I would want it that way either, for if it was that easy, I would have missed out on all the wonderful experiences and journeys I have, and will have in m continued sobriety.

How terrible it would be to have the obsession removed, but not have the experience of freedom which comes from doing a 4th and 5th step! Or the healing that takes place in the 9th step! Or the changes within self of doing a daily 10th step! Or the wonderful experience of Step 12, watching others begin to come to believe!

I have such wonderful gifts in my life as a DIRECT RESULT of those masterfully written words in the Big Book. It is through those words that I begin to understand the workings of my Higher Power. It is though those words that I begin to finally live life as it was intended to be.

Oh life still happens around me, that's for sure! It certainly is not perfect. That's okay though. I have a Power greater than myself by myside, along with the rest of you that are in this journey with me.

I got a chance this week to go to work late so that I could attend the birthday meeting of my homegroup. I had not been there since August, because well, it's a noon meeting and I work at noon now. haha

What an experience it was! It truly made me see how important the fellowship is. They were waiting for me, with open arms, lots of hugs and tons of smiles. We laugh in that meeting. We laugh a lot. We celebrated 41 days to 43 years!

The meeting was filled with family and friends of those celebrating their birthdays. I sat there looking out at the family members, and listened to them share about their journey with their alcoholic in their life. I saw mended families. I saw healing. I saw love. That, to me, is what it's all about - forgiveness and healing.

I was given a book of prayers by my sponsor, and this prayer was in it. I think it sums things up pretty nicely.

Dear God,

I had another anniversary today, on more year in recovery. It has been difficult at times, but it has allowed many blessings. I am a human being again. I feel new strength in my body, spirit and mind. The world has never looked so good. I have the respect of my friends and family. I am productive in my work. I do not miss the slippery people and places. When I have been tempted, You, my Higher Power, have sustained me. I have found a home in the Fellowship and friends support me. Stay close to me, God, I thank You. This is the life I love.