Lonewolf, Howling out Loud

Carry what messege?

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:00:00 GMT

When asked to speak, weeks ahead of time in front of those that have witnessed you grow. What messege do you carry?

I am a real alcoholic

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 05:00:00 GMT

I am there fore I go

short

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

very short

The days of youth/recaptured

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Although my youth was shaterred by events beyond my control there were some good times too.

Was/am I willing?

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Willing to go to any length? I am are you?

Two loves (relationships)

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

The two greatest loves I had known

Step 12

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Step 12,

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tryed to carry this messege to other alcoholics and to practice these principals in all our affairs.

Assuming of course we have done the prior 11 steps and have implimented them into our lives a spiritual awakening is to be expected. AS THE RESULT OF. These steps. My first sponsor told me this was a change in attitude. My whole attitusde not just the part I wanted changed. I had hopefully by then become more spiritual and there fore unselfish.

I tryed to carry this messege. Well certainly. We call this service work and sponsorship. From cleaning an ashtray to speaking on the circuit. All sorts of ways to carry the messege, including in how we treat our fellows in and out of recovery. What do I do on a daily basis to carry the messege? Am I an example of what recovery has given me or what I have taken?

To practice these principals in all our affairs. That means in everything I do in and out of the rooms regardless weather recovery related or not. Remembering of course it is progress not perfection.

So to me this step has three parts. An awakening. A paying back. A better guide to living. All spiritually based. Obviously I can not transmit something I haven't got. So it is required that I stay in the rooms and work with my sponsor and others and do the 11 steps before this one.

So often I have heard newcomers say and have even done it myself. Claim to have had a spiritual awakening after steps 3 or 4 or 5. Heck I have even heard some say they had it before coming to AA! Those, as it was explained to me were spiritual experiences. There is a differance. I do not point this out in a meeting to a newcomer but rather if asked explain it to them in private. Not to correct but to clarify the difference, as outlined in our text in the appendix. Sharing that I too confused them but realized the only way to have that promised spiritual awakening I had to do the steps. For it says AS THE RESULT OF THESE STEPS.

So do not fret friends. I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps and so will you. When you do you will know. Maybe not away, But you will know. It is one of the 12 step promises...

Namaste

First entry

lonewolf612002@hotmail.com — Sat, 19 May 2007 12:07:00 GMT

Well this is my first attempt at a blog. Been wanting to try this so here goes.

I awoke this morning filled with a tremendous sense of peace. I live by Smith Mountian Lake in Virginia. It seems every morning the routine is the same. We like routine don't we? I open my eyes and look towards the ceiling and thank God for a good nights sleep. I roll out of bed and hit my knees asking Him to keep me sober today and to direct my thinking. For heavens sake do not let me be the director! LOL

The mornings during the week my prayer and meditation time is limited by the fact I have to go to work and haven't yet adjusted my time to allow more solitude in the morning. The weekends though, like today are differant. My roomie is out on the lake fishing. The coffee is already made. The sun is peaking through the trees and you can smell the water in the crisp fresh air. There are bunnies in the back yard. Mom and her three kids. They are eating dew covered blades of grass and clover. No wonder I can find no four leaf clovers around here. So the day is going to be beautiful, I know it already. I take a seat on the back deck and sip coffee. Thank you God I say out loud. There we sit and talk about life and people. Today I have to go to Matty's viewing and memorial service. My thoughts turn to him as I review our relationship. I LOL at some of the things he had said in meetings or after them standing outside the meeting place. I sit quietly reflecting on the serious comments he has made over the years that have helped me and who knows who else. I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to get sober and get to know Matty. He had what I wanted and died the way I hope to as well. Loving life and sober.

My thoughts turn towards the sounds that are around me. A bass boat is slowing down to it's fishing spot. You can hear the motor idle and the wake hit shore. A dog down the road barks at another as they play in the yard of their home. The nieghbors parrot is saying hello to everyone, rather loud I may add. LOL A cardinal chirps in the cedar tree and I can hear God. I can feel God. I know He is here, sitting with me and together we are enjoying this sober morning. I can feel the sun warming me, A loving embrace from my God I call it.

What will I do today? I have no idea. It is saturday and the weather is perfect. I have already decided and can be certain that the one thing I will not do today is drink.

Well my coffee cup is empty and it is time to walk about the yard and look at all God has blessed me with.

What a great day to be sober!

Namaste