 I think about friends.
I think about how far I have came. I think about how I entered here battered, torn up from the floor up. Nobody to blame but me.
Online is an awesome tool, I have had to really use it alot when I have my surgeries, my down days, etc...but with that being said, I also KNOW me today. I can get complacent and I am good at it, dont even know when I am, at times.
There have been people here that have been very gentle with me. Why? Because I asked them to be. I needed gentle, and some think well, ya know, gentle dont keep ya sober.
No, gentle dont, but kindess, to me, led me to a higher place. A place that said, Go gently, face your fears, do it, come on, you can. A gentle push. Kindess. Perceptions. Love. Understanding. I got that here, when I first came.
It took time to trust. It was easier for me when I was able to open up and tell others what I needed, and thru emails, phone calls, etc....people here gave me a love shove, as I call it.
They asked very little of and from me. They simply asked me to do good things for ME....they had no hidden agenda's.
That is why I really believe this place is growing so fast. No, we may not be here online 24/7, but that is ok for me.
What are the motives here? I see them as Pure in nature, designed to get people like me to a 'higher' place, in RECOVERY.
I cannot get that sitting on computer 24/7 and avoiding the real world. For me, that aint gonna happen.
There are some folks who are house bound, who really need to have a place, and part of that reason is why the forums are here.
I found when I was housebound, really not well, I GREW the most from being laid up and getting into the literature, coming here to post it, so that for me,
I can retain the material, and glean the nuggets from others who have so freely shared. Thats what recovery friends do. We SHARE our ESH, from our heart.
I read the Doc's Opionion today, it speaks of Altrustic, and I looked that word up.....wow.....I like that word. I have an Advanced Dictionary, it keeps the words pretty simple, the word means the following in my dictionary:
Altruistic - thoughtful of the welfare of others  gotta say, yep, this site, the many who attend here, are my friends, they are thoughtful of my welfare.
What I choose to do with the suggestions given here is on ME. Even if I chose to do something AA related as a condition to obtaining help...guess what?
It was worth it. It showed me what length I was and am willing to go to...see I dont wanna be miserable. I want what these AA folks chatter about, that freedom, that happiness, but to obtain that I, Me, must do the work.
For me, that means risk taking. Getting outside, with 'them' lol....and believe me, some days I dont wanna....but when i push thru, and do the footwork, I must say, I've yet to be disappointed.
So tonight, as my way of sharing, having been around a few 24, I will say THANK YOU FRIENDS......for showing me the door, rofl......
now ya know dern well i couldnt leave w/out a laugh...hops out door snickering on the way out, and tossing kisses for da push....... |