I have tried to figure out, why they care so deeply for people who obviously are not interested in their warnings of predation or pleas for a return to civility. I'm not sure what force moves them to continually offer a helping hand to those still suffering, only to have it slapped away.

What I do see, in these people, is a passionate desire to carry the message. They are so focused on that desire to help that they may have forgotten they cannot carry the alcoholic. That weight is too heavy even for the most sincere.

Online recovery has been a blessing to me, and it has an enormity in its ability to reach thousands and to possibly change their lives forever. But if we are to play a part in it, we must remember, for our own health, there are some truly sicker than others.

Your message of hope and freedom will fall on deaf ears, of the closed minded. Shouting at the top of your lungs will not make a difference. There are many recovery sites on the World Wide Web and if those who you feel are mired down in a toxic quagmire of deceit and denial do not wish to step out of it, then whom are we to continue to try and carry them kicking and screaming.

They have made their choices.

You are to be commended, whether you see that or not. To have remained silent, without attempt, is a greater travesty. I applaud your Courage to wade into a chronic festering situation. But like anything of a toxic nature, it is often found to be invasive and contagious. If you continue to surround yourself in such an unhealthy environment, it will only be a matter of time before you too become infected.

Recognize what you want for others, may not be what they want for themselves, no matter how sincere your intent or how insidious their situation. If we view the house we live in as safe and the walls that surround us as strong, no amount of cajoling, will get us to move out, no matter how week its foundation.

Through it all do not ever doubt your sincerity in your attempt to reach out and help those still suffering. It takes great courage to do the right thing, especially in an environment that is hostile to you. It takes even greater courage and strength to have the wisdom to know when to Let Go and walk away. Especially when it's from those you have called friend.

Minds that don't want to be opened will remain closed. Remember you are not turning your back on them or giving up the fight. Instead you are choosing a higher ground. You are not walking away - but walking towards a new freedom. Your are showing them the path. Maybe someday they will choose to walk it, but for now, your service is done.

The choice is theirs and you cannot carry them.

Thank you, you brave few, for all you do and for the message you carry.

Ditto what Melly said.

I really put some thinking into this post last nite and this morning,. I wanted to tell you skye, thank you.  This has caused me to make some sense out of my actions/thoughts/feelings that I have had the last few weeks.

This passion I have for recovery, and for what I feel in the depths of my soul because of recovery, does tend to cause me at times to lose sight of the fact that everyone is where they are because that is just where they are.

I don't mean to be condescending in any way when saying that, nor do I want it to look like I think I am better than either.

I started reading a great book today called "Drop the Rock." It is about steps 6 and 7.  I read this morning that we only get the willingness to change through pain. That is why God allows us to "feel" our defects WHEN WE ARE READY TO FACE THEM.  Why would we want to change something if we didn't feel, deep down, that it is not working? 

 We can only understand these things in proportion to what we understand about our Higher Power. This is the meaning of progress not perfection, at least for me.

I think God has given some of us an excellent opportunity to practice this program by looking deep within ourselves, once again, to see what it is we need to change. He has given us an opportunity, through pain, to grow a little more.

Thanks for spurring me to look within. I feel some closure and some relief after doing so. I also am able to see that there is a reason for everything. It is always a relief when that reason begins to become clear in my mind, but most importantly in my heart.

Top notch post Kathy. Can't say it any better...

Loveya G

Wow skye, that IS deep.  And it is Truth, and nothing like it to really cause me to look at me.  Thank you skye,gkath,melly,and G for the replies. 

(((((((((( Skye )))))))))))) thank you so much for the post, it was beautifully written and with much care too, I like that!

It really is amazing how on this journey we learn more everyday just how better to take care of ourselves and make healthy choices as to what is best for our peace of mind and spirit.

Reply  Posted FOR  June

This is an amazing post, Skye.

I thank you so much for writing it in such an eloquent way. You definitely hit the target without making anyone a target and got straight to the point without pointing any fingers. I've always admired people who can sincerely do that.

Thanks for being the gift of a good example. I need to see how things should be done. I live in the Show-Me State and in our NA Third Step prayer we ask....
God, take my will and my life,
Guide me in my recovery,
Show me how to live.

Thanks for answering that prayer. I had almost given up hope.

Love, June 

Wow -- this is awesome, Skye, and thank you -- this is truly Chicken Soup for the Wounded Warrior's soul.

After reading this, I couldn't help thinking about a friend of mine who keeps relapsing -- there are times I just want to use "frying pan therapy" on her (cast iron skillet upside the head ), because I am so grateful for this program and I want it for her, too.  Unfortunately, after many attempts, I have finally realized that I need to let go and let her want it on her own.  Maybe I should use the frying pan on my own head!

Thank you, Skye, for helping me to make a decision without regretting what might have been.