Hi Bruefer --
I'm an alcoholic, and I hurt my husband deeply when I hit bottom -- in my delusional state, I accused him of being part of a conspiracy to prove I was crasy, told him I didn't love him, etc., etc. It took some time for him to learn to trust me again, and to stop worrying that I would go off the deep end again. It also took time for me to trust myself again -- but after being in stituations where I had the opportunity to drink but didn't, I learned that I could survive.
Sometimes the only way to regain others' trust is just to stay sober, and live the Steps.
Trusting other people in my life works much the same way -- it takes time, and I rely heavily on my HP. When something or someone feels "wrong", it probably is. I also have to take a look at myself and determine what in me is causing this feeling -- is it because of a prior experience that I had with this person or someone like them? Am I judging? Are they simply showing my character defects? Am I expecting too much of them?
Don't know if this helps, just my experience.