I've been self injury free and as active as possible in SMA for over a year and still feel like I want  to cut as much as I wanted to when i was still doing it.  the phsyical withdrawals stopped after a month or so but the feeling of needing it and the desire to harm myself is as strong as its always been.  the only thing stopping me is knowing that its no longer an option and wanting to lead a good example for others trying to recover and that I couldnt get away with it, Jason would notice.

I thought it was kind of odd becuase I never have any desire to use drugs anymore. I feel 'recovered' from drug addiction and i work the steps for drugs and SI combind.

I dont know what else I could try to make the desire go away. it sucks wanting this.   and is making me resent being in recovery.