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Subject: The Slowest Brain Cells
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Skye User is Offline
aka Marvin
Grand Master MINION
Grand Master MINION
Posts: 1047

01/21/2008 3:53 PM Alert 

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. (So I am told by a princess from Alberta. How she knows this I didn't ask.)

When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive intake of alcohol we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

 


Recovery is Contagious...Start an Epidemic
Carol User is Offline
Trusted Servant
Grand Master MINION
Grand Master MINION
Posts: 1047

01/21/2008 4:51 PM Alert 

Now, THAT'S alkie logic for ya!!!!

LOVE IT!!!  Thanks, Skye!


Be the change you wish to see in the world ...Gandhi
chelle User is Offline
Supreme MINION
Supreme MINION
Posts: 283

01/28/2008 6:24 PM Alert 

wow, so if all i have left is the smart ones, what does that say about the ones that are DEAD??!!??

duh


I've never dropped anyone I believed in... Marilyn Monroe
Larry User is Offline
Trusted Servant
Master MINION
Master MINION
Posts: 713

01/29/2008 12:42 PM Alert 

If you are anything like me, all I have left are 2 brain cells and they argue all the time...  


It's a good day to be sober
mark User is Offline
Junior REALMite
Junior REALMite
Posts: 0

02/19/2008 3:45 PM Alert 
no wonder i think i know everything
Hobie User is Offline
Trusted Servant
Grand MINION
Grand MINION
Posts: 541

02/25/2008 7:42 PM Alert 

The scarry thing is that the brain celss that are left wanna agree!


What I am recovering is my life!
What I have recovered is my soul!
20Watt User is Offline
Junior REALMite
Junior REALMite
Posts: 0

02/28/2008 8:29 AM Alert 

now THAT makes perfect sense to me! "Last call for Know -It-Alls!!!"  

Matt User is Offline
Junior REALMite
Junior REALMite
Posts: 0

02/29/2008 3:56 AM Alert 
A burglar broke into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor
in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.
He again heard, "Jesus is watching you."

This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot. He asked,
"Did you say that?"

The parrot admitted that he had. "I'm just trying to warn you, is all."

The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?"

"Moses."

"Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"

The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a
Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

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