A MAN DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN.  ST. PETER ASKED, "WHAT DENOMINATION ARE YOU?"
AND THE MAN SAID "I DON'T BELONG HERE, I DON'T GO TO CHURCH.'  ST.
PETER SAID, "WELL, WE DON'T MAKE MISTAKES, YOU BELONG HERE, LET'S JUST WALK
AROUND AND YOU CAN SEE
WHERE YOU'D LIKE TO STAY."

SO THEY WALKED DOWN THE HALL, AND ST. PETER OPENED A DOOR AND THERE
WERE ALL THESE PEWS WITH PEOPLE KNEELING AND PRAYING AND CROSSING THEM-SELVES. 
"WHO ARE THEY?"
ASKED THE MAN. "THOSE ARE THE CATHOLICS, "ANSWERED ST. PETER.  "WELL,  I DON'T
WANT TO STAY
THERE," SAID THE MAN AND THEY WALKED ON DOWN THE HALL.

ST. PETER OPENED THE NEXT DOOR, AND THERE WERE ALL THESE PEWS WITH
PEOPLE SITTING IN THEM STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD.  "WHO ARE THEY?" ASKED THE MAN.

"THOSE ARE THE PROTESTANTS," ANSWERED ST. PETER.  "WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO STAY HERE," SAID THE MAN, AND THEY WALKED ON DOWN THE HALL.

THE NEXT ROOM THEY WENT INTO, THE MAN SMELLED COFFEE AS SOON AS THE
DOOR OPENED.  THE MAN LOOKED INSIDE AND THERE WERE ALL THESE PEOPLE LAUGHING AND
HUGGING EACH
OTHER.  HE WATCHED THEM STAND IN A CIRCLE AND SAY THE SERENITY PRAYER.

THE MAN SAID, "I LIKE THESE PEOPLE, WHO ARE THEY?"  ST. PETER SHRUGGED
HIS SHOULDERS AND SAID,   "I DON'T KNOW, THEY WON'T TELL US."