Found on another site, this is for everyone who has ever been owned by a cat:
Twelve Steps for Felines
1 - Refused to admit we were powerless over any THING, PERSON or DOG.
2 - Came to believe that we ARE a Power greater than any we have come across.. other than the vacuum cleaner.
3 - Made a decision to bend our humans will to ours, for the benefit and entertainment of our own personal lives.
4 - Made a searching and fearless inventory of all sock drawers, towel cupboards and laundry baskets.
5 - Admitted NOTHING to NO ONE.
6 - Were entirely ready to have our humans learn how to lose their defects.
7 - Became amazed when they did NOT.
8 - Made a list of all people, places and things that had either harmed or threatened to harm us, and became willing to cause them much mischief and/or outright PAIN.
9 - Made such mischief and/or pain with absolutely UNCANNY timing.
10 - Continued to despise and deplore all those around us.
11 - Sought through catnaps and the trick of hypnotizing our humans to improve our living environment to our own ends.
12 - Having had a Godlike awareness of our Feline Perfection, and the Fact that the World revolves around us.. we decided to co-habitate with these faulty humans, strictly because God did not give us opposable thumbs, and had allowed things such as doorknobs and can-openers to be necessary. And dogs. Mustn't forget the dogs.. (shudder).
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