SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Her's is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!'. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' .... The driver said 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked 'What's on the TV?'
I said 'Dust!'

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it......... this is the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word....... just clean and simple fun!!

Thanks Larry ... This is great!! Red Skelton was one of the few who could make people laugh with clean material. It was simple and innocent .... just as life was intended to be. I needed the lift and as usual "found it in the rooms".

Frank E

I loved but now comes the chalange of the day...

Do I dare forward this one on to the Mrs.?

Why not she'll enjoy a good luagh and then give heck for it latter...

Rue and I have been together almost 15 years now... part of our secreat... not takeing ourselves or each other too seriously.

Love is many things... a source of hummor is just one.