Using Questions To Be More Self Aware


“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
- James Thurber

Questions can help you become more self aware. Are you where you live? Are you your job? Are you what you look like? The answers to these questions are only reflections of who you are to the outside world. But it’s just that, a reflection of your inner self. To go below the surface, the questions need to be more meaningful.

Think of the questions as being in layers. Each level or layer of questioning takes you closer and closer to the “core of your being.”

Example of Layers
What type of people do I enjoy spending time with?
Well...they have to be open-minded people. I really enjoy their company.

Why do I enjoy being with open-minded people?
Because then I can explore lots of different ideas. I enjoy searching for answers. And if they’re open-minded, the exploration can go anywhere!

What do I mean by “exploration can go anywhere”?
I mean I can investigate all the big questions in life like...Why are we here or where do emotions come from?

How does being with open-minded people assist me in exploring those questions?
Well...if they’re open-minded they won’t make fun of my ideas.

Why is it important to me that people not make fun of my ideas?
Because it feels like my ideas are..well...me. I don’t like being made fun of.

Why don’t I like being made fun of?
Because then I feel shitty about myself.

Why would I feel shitty about myself if people made fun of me?
Because they’re not accepting me for who I am!

Why do I feel shitty if others don’t accept me for who I am?
Because it means I’m not OK.

How does others not accepting me mean I’m not okay?
Hmmmm.... I guess it doesn't have to mean that.

As you can see, the further down in the questioning process you go, the more you can tap into why you do what you do and who you are. It will take time for you to go through all the questions if you keep digging down each layer. Feel free to refer back to this example when answering the questions.

Tips On Answering Questions


“He who finds himself, loses his misery.”
- Matthew Arnold

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self awareness you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.

Be As Specific As You Can
General answers will only give you a general sense of who you are. The more specific your answers, the more impact they'll have on your life and you'll have a much clearer picture of yourself. I can not emphasis this enough. Be specific. Be specific. Give specific answers. When you think you've been pretty specific, make it even more specific.


Questions, Not Judgments
Don't ask yourself these questions with a judgmental tone. They’re not accusations, or calls for you to defend yourself. They’re questions to help you discover who you are. Be honest, gentle, and nonjudgmental. No one has to see your answers. This is between you and you, and no one else.


Letting It Flow
If while answering the questions you come up with your own line of questioning, then definitely follow it. (You’re the expert here.) Also, if you answer, “I don’t know”, to any of the questions, give yourself the freedom to take a wild guess. The guess will allow you to continue. You know more than you think you do!


Be Totally Honest
Honesty leads to true awareness, but it requires courage. It’s the courage to face what you fear or find difficult to accept about yourselves. When you summon the courage to take ownership of your actions, thoughts, and feelings, you will recover the blueprint of your life. You’ll be able to face your fears and find the inaccurate beliefs that created them.

“We make our world significant
by the courage of our questions,
and the depth of our answers.”
- Carl Sagan

When answering the questions on the next page, see if you are substituting rationalizations for your genuine feelings. Check inside and see if you are asking yourself “How SHOULD I feel?”, rather than “How do I really feel?”. Monitor if you are speculating intellectually about the answer, rather than getting in touch with what you are thinking or feeling.

Know that in the past you had reasons for being dishonest and that those reasons may no longer be useful or serve you. Know whatever you discover about yourself, you can handle with ease and acceptance. Trust that the information you uncover will in some way lead to a greater sense of peace about yourself. That the answers to the questions will take you by the hand, and lead you to where you want to go.

Becoming honest is an act of self renewal. What a sense of freedom you’ll feel when you’re able to admit to yourself...”I want this, or think this, or feel this because I’m afraid that...[fill in the blank]. This is the first step toward discovering hidden fears. What a wonderful place to know where you are! It’s difficult to reach a destination, when you don’t even know where you’re starting. You need only to gather your courage and look for your beliefs you have about yourself and your world. The rewards of doing so will lead you to places of happiness you never knew existed.