Hi all. I am 30 years old and just recently had two years and then relapsed and then 1 year of sobriety after that and now I am scared I will never reach that again. The funny thing is that I HATE alcohol. I hate the taste, the way it makes me feel, the paranoia of the next day and the stupid stuff I do to myself and others. I recently got married and I love her to daeth and don't want to screw this up, but I know I will if I continue to drink. I can make it a month, two weeks or even a day but I keep going back and every time I really regret it and get paranoid. I HATE it!!! I miss my life for the times I did not drink. I am a good person when I don't, but I am not a good person when I do.
Thank you and will be in the chat and in the meetings. |