amyl 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/23/2008 10:36 AM |
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I have never posted anything online, and I am quite surprised at the great amount of discomfort I feel. First about having just admitted to myself that I have a serious alcohol abuse problem, and secondly about where I go from here. I have spent the past couple of years completely isolating myself, and reaching out is very difficult. Denial is a dangerous thing when you are living in it every day. I haven't wanted to admit the fact that I am a 32 year old alcoholic. I am so ashamed of the direction my life has taken, and I desperately want to begin down the road of recovery.
i hope that I can learn from all of you. While I am saddened by the things my alcohol abuse has taken from me, I am hopeful that life can be better than this.
Day 1 starts right now. |
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Carol  Trusted Servant
 Grand Master MINION Posts: 1074

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| 01/23/2008 10:55 AM |
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Congratulations, Amy, on taking the first step on the path to sobriety!
I felt ashamed, too -- then I started attending AA meetings and found a whole bunch of other people who had felt the same way, but now had a new perspective on life.
Please find an AA meeting near you. You are not alone. We will be here to support you, as well.
I look forward to getting to know you better. |
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Be the change you wish to see in the world ...Gandhi |
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anniemac 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/23/2008 11:14 AM |
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Welcome, Amy, and congratulations on taking an important first step in your journey to recovery. We can't seek a solution until we admit we have a problem, and you've now done that part.
Find out where the AA meetings are, go, listen, talk to other women, and come back and tell us how you're doing. There's no shame in falling down; the shame is in not getting back up again.
Blessings,
Anne
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amyl 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/23/2008 12:27 PM |
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Carol and Anne, Thank you both so much for responding so quickly to my post. If the two of you are demonstrative of the kinds of people who are utilizing this site, then I feel that I am in good hands. For the first time in a very long while, I don't feel quite so alone. Alone, sobriety feels so insurmountable. Funny how I have spent a significant amount of time in the past couple of years ensuring my solitude, and now I am relying on the kindness of strangers to help me on this important journey. Thank you. |
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anniemac 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/23/2008 1:42 PM |
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My pleasure, Amy. Keep us posted. |
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Carol  Trusted Servant
 Grand Master MINION Posts: 1074

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| 01/23/2008 4:17 PM |
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No one is a stranger in AA for long.
Please let us know how you are doing.
Love and hugs,
Carol |
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Be the change you wish to see in the world ...Gandhi |
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Larry  Trusted Servant
 Master MINION Posts: 716

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| 01/23/2008 5:53 PM |
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Welcome Amy. Glad you are here and congrats on taking the first step in recovery. Look forward to seeing you in the chat room and in our meetings. As was mentioned in the other post, find yourself an AA meeting close to you. You will find a lot of other people just like you. We at the Realm will be here to support you in any way we can.  |
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It's a good day to be sober |
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amyl 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/24/2008 1:39 PM |
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carol, anne and larry
i just wanted you to know that i just attended my first meeting. it was incredible. i verbalized the fact that i am an alcoholic for the first time in my life; after a very heated meeting (it was on step 11) a couple of the members came up and even hugged me. a great woman gave me her number and told me to call her anytime. she was kind and sincere the way i imagine the three of you are.
i wouldn't have had the strength to even consider going to that today if it hadn't been for the support you had given me via this website. attending meetings is the constant that the three of you impressed upon me, and thanks to you i am on my way.
you all are true gems! |
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anniemac 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/24/2008 2:08 PM |
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Hi Amy,
I'm so glad to hear that your first meeting was a good experience for you. My first meeting was similar; I was surrounded by women afterwards and hugged by some and given phone numbers. I was stunned by the kindness. I came to learn that in general, alcoholics are pretty wonderful people.
Picking up the phone and actually calling any of the women who gave me their numbers was frightening, but I had so many thoughts and feelings and questions that I think I would have burst if I didn't call people and talk about them. Once those floodgates opened, I couldn't slam them shut again (nor, really, did I want to).
So, I suggest that you do use the phone number you got, and that you get others. You don't need to wait until you are on the verge of drinking to call them. They'll be glad to hear from you; we in AA truly care about the sobriety and success of other members and will do what we can to help. It's a natural tendency to feel that we are bothering others by calling them, but really we are not.
Keep us posted...when's your next meeting?
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Carol  Trusted Servant
 Grand Master MINION Posts: 1074

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| 01/24/2008 5:05 PM |
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YAY AMY!!!!
It takes a lot of courage to walk through that door the first time, but you did it! Good for you!!
My first meeting experience was much like yours -- I felt welcome there, and I felt as though I had "come home", thanks to the warm reception I received.
Use those phone numbers, keep going to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps -- it works if you work it. |
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Be the change you wish to see in the world ...Gandhi |
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Larry  Trusted Servant
 Master MINION Posts: 716

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| 01/24/2008 5:36 PM |
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Way to go Amy. The first meeting is always the hardest. I'm glad you found some other people that you liked and even got a phone number. Don't hesitate to use that number. If it was given to you they really want to help you. |
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It's a good day to be sober |
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Hobie  Trusted Servant
 Grand MINION Posts: 549

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| 01/24/2008 7:42 PM |
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Amy! Welcome Home!
When I walked into the rooms of AA I came as a beaten down, frightened, angry, ashamed and very confused person. I felt like a lost child and expected to be treated as a stranger.
I was greeted like a friend and eventually as a brother. Today most of the people I call family are in these rooms.
Here's what I tell all newcomers.
1 Get a little note book. Take it with you to meetings and get as many phone numbers as you can and then use them.
You'll meet some folk with some serious time and quality sobriety and they will become you teachers. And they will be grateful for you calling because it gives them a chance to give it away.
Those who are not so new, they will become like bigger brothers and sisters and help you along the way and be grateful for you being there and calling.
Then there are those with about as much time as you and they will be grateful for you because they will have someone to share the early days of recovery with and some of those will become friends for the rest of you life.
Eventfully you will start to get numbers of those who are newer than you and they will be grateful you called because you will give them hope.
At that point you'll really know, you're one of us.
2 Get a Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) and start reading it from the very first page and keep reading until you get to the pictures. If you don't see them the first time, read it again until you do get the pictures.
3 Go to as many meets as possible. 90 in 90, 180 in 180, 180 in 90... Your first year there is no such things as too many meetings. Go to them when you need one, when you want one, when you're not sure you want one and when you think if you go to another one you just might poison the coffee...
You'll find fellowship there, support, understanding, they'll be your classroom, play ground and oasis of sanity. Besides I've never seen anyone get drink at one (Sometimes before or after but never during).
4 Get a sponsor (more than one if you need it) that will teach you the steps and be there to help walk you along the road to happy destiny. The relationships you build with them will open doors you did not even know existed and give you insights to yourself and the program that could change you whole outlook in a few moments (I've had it happen many times along the way).
5 Find some sober folk you can hang out with and run with them. Run with them to meetings, to coffee, to movies, outings... and have fun! Learn to live life to its fullest sober. Learn to laugh, love and become a person you will enjoy being for many years to come.
I look forward to meeting you and sharing this gift of sobriety with you.
Your Brother in Recovery
hobie
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What I am recovering is my life! What I have recovered is my soul! |
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chelle 
 Supreme MINION Posts: 285

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| 01/25/2008 8:12 AM |
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((((Amy)))) big hugs for you!!
Welcome to the rest of your life!! I am so glad you are here!! You will find that life is so much better without the bottle. Keep coming back!!
hugs and lotsa love,
chelle |
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I've never dropped anyone I believed in... Marilyn Monroe |
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Grasshopper 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 01/26/2008 3:50 AM |
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Welcome Amy glad you found us and that you were able to get to a meeting. Thats a big step. i hope to see ya around here more and in chat also.
hugs and welcome!

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Davina 
 Junior REALMite Posts: 0
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| 06/09/2008 10:26 AM |
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Welcome Amy
i hope you are keeping well and have gotten to another meeting.
Davina xx |
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