What is a spiritual awakening?
What is a spiritual experience?
Newcomers often ask these questions and wonder if they are on the right path because they haven't seen a "burning bush" or had an experience like Bill W.'s.
Both terms are often used interchangeably, particularly in the Big Book. Bill W. refers to the story of his “blinding white light” experience as both; but in my opinion, they are separate and distinct terms defining two types of experiences.
For me, a spiritual awakening involves external factors. It is that moment of acceptance where I become one with the world around me. The realization that I’m not perfect, I’m not God, and that others aren’t perfect either. That feeling of “connectedness” , “humanness” and belonging. That feeling of coming out of self and realizing that others have gone through many of the same problems I have. Genuinely caring about others.
My spiritual awakening came through attending AA meetings. At some point, when I was newly sober, I began to feel comfortable with the people in my group. I wanted what they had. They loved me (even though I had no idea why), and I loved them for caring. I began to care about them, and for the first time in my life, I felt I “belonged”.
On the other hand, I believe a spiritual experience is internal -- a personal experience between me and my Higher Power. That moment my Higher Power lets me know he’s there. Those random coincidences that always seem to work out. The strength to go on when I want to give up. The words that I speak without thinking about them or knowing what I‘m going to say.
My first spiritual experience came early in sobriety. My mother was dying of cancer, and in a lot of pain. I was upset and went to a meeting and shared about my feelings. When we stood, holding hands, saying the Lord’s Prayer, I felt a “presence”, or maybe it was just the strength flowing through all the joined hands, but I felt great comfort.
Bill W. describes his spiritual experience as a “blinding white light”, but goes on to say (later in the book) that not everyone will have that same experience-- that for some people, spirituality will come slower than for others -- but that they will have a spiritual experience of some type.
Whichever terminology is used, both terms describe the “profound transformation” Bill W. uses to describe the recovering alcoholic. The spiritual awakening is perhaps more visible to others, but I think both are fundamental to belief in a Higher Power.
The spiritual awakening was particularly significant for me, because I had so totally isolated in the last years of my drinking that I had lost the ability to feel “connected” with other people. Feeling that common bond with others in AA was vital to starting my path to sobriety. Maintaining that connection to others and to my Higher Power is critical to staying sober.
JMHO |