Some say I must give up my will,  at times complete acceptance of this is at a standstill.

I must put aside my childish ways, reminding myself- I am a adult these days.

I am powerless over my addictions , toiling with this- somtimes creates an inner confliction.

As I search for the inner real me, I stand my ground trying not to flee.

Reminding myself that I can survive, counting my blessing and grateful for being alive.

The alcohol and drug were once my mighty king, strangling my heart not allowing me to sing.

Memories interrupt my sleep and disturb my dreams.

I am not giving up hope- by any means.

As I softly speak to god each day I pray for an easier softer way.

As a lizard that gradually sheds its skin, I am slowly shedding the bondage from within.

For many years my addiction has kept me sick.

I ask myself "How much self induced pain must I inflict"?

I search through to learn to love and laugh.

I keep the faith that God has paved my path...

Sernity Hope