rejoice
why should i be happy?
because, i am hurting and lonely?
no
because i feel useless?
no
happy?
i've lost everything i loved or those i cared for.
worst more than i can feel.
you don really understand,
rejoice
you've never walked in my shoes.
no
don't you understand how what dealing with these thing,
the lonlyness i feel??
yes
i hurt and tryed so many ways to strrugle with things i can never understand.
you can't
i can
why can i have happines?
in slowly being able to push through these things ?
maybe it dis have to get to the point
where after years of searching for these answers,
i finnaly fell to my knees
weeping and pleading,
crumpled.
screaming out
oh god why me?
a wisper then siad softly to me
i do love you dear one
thinking to seld you crazyness let you hear these words.
you deafened these words in your mind.
the wisper came again alittle bit differenlty
i've love you enough to bring you to the point where you understand how weak you are.
you can't even help me with this,
i've worn out all the strength i once had now i can not stand up.
this insistant loving voice again
i can
his arms wrapped them selves genly
compasionately around me
battered, bruised and as dirty as i had ever been in my life
thoughe of being dropped where gone.
solomly my response was
oh my god
i never had hope that you were there at all
now that i do have the need to believe
you came in just to lift a person like me?
i prayed
lord plese don't ever let me foret this when you leave.
god's response was
i will not leave you.
each day when you ask me to enter you life.
only have faith i am.
reality showed this person
anything worth striving for for so many years must come with it's own too.
that's why i have the need of prayer daily to a god i knows love me.
today i know the love of live again.
fath
hope
love
the beginning of steps to one way.
the only way i need to undersstand today.
yet i still can see my pain in other eyes pleading for what we know
sweetly
lovingly
honestly
we reach out to take his hand,
if only to help him rise one his own
to the frendship found in becomming
B.W.'s friend