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The BlogRealm provides bloggers, addicted to alcohol or drugs, a place to publish their personal thoughts and commentaries on recovery, addiction and on life as they see it. It is a collection of blogs (or journals) written by a diverse company of individuals from around the world.
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tcuysnhv6a
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Feb
20
Written by:
chelle
Wednesday, February 20, 2008 10:50 AM
Isn't it odd where some of our inspiration can come from? From something someone happens to say or lyrics to a song. The latter has become true for me. In the words of the great "Eagles," "so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." Ok, so I never said it wasn't an odd place to be inspired, but the absolute truth of that amazes me. lol
I have recently made a very life changing decision. I will no longer be taken advantage of by anyone. PERIOD. I have put this plan into action. No one will be able to do this to me again, especially not someone who claims to love me more than anyone else. Words are just words. They mean nothing without action. A person's actions show what they really feel.
I have told my husband of two years to move out. I can't believe I finally found the strength to do this. He will not use me again. He will not take advantage of me again. He will not hurt me again. I will be free. I will be strong. I will take care of me and my children without the burden of taking care of someone who refuses to take care of themselves. He is not my responsibility. His well being is not my responsibility. He is a grown, capable person. He is able to provide for himself. I don't have to feel guilty over this. It is ok for me to feel this way. Every day I feel stronger, better, and free.
I have spent the last two years of my life being someone's slave, and it was all my own doing. I had the key all along.
Tags:
2 comment(s) so far...
Re: No more
I understand and support you though this.
I was raised to believe a man's whole purpose in life was to take care of his family (big difference between care taking, care giving and supporting). I married a very dependent woman and became her decision maker (as long as I did not make a decision that might free me or us from her family of origin and all their issues) and spent 7 years making all the decisions and efforts necessary to take care of her and her family and all their insanity. I did it because I believed that his was the key to my happiness.
And as she and they sucked me dry, mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually I finally got to the place where I was dead from the inside out.
Leaving her (and having to leave my sons behind with her) was one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. Having to learn to take care of myself, to become responsible for my own well being instead of looking for my meaning and happiness to come from others was even more difficult (and something I am still working on).
It was also a big part of finding that the way to free me was not some hidden key out there in the world but a combination I had to learn…it starts out 1,2,3,4,5…12… and then keeps on repeating!
Hugs, prayers and always and open line for support and love.
By Hobie on
Friday, February 22, 2008 9:42 AM
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Re: No more
Way to go Chelle. I'm glad your my friend. I hope we grow in sobriety together.
By lovleemom on
Friday, April 17, 2009 8:55 PM
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